Not long ago there was a news story about a 500-pound Florida woman whose flesh was literally stuck to the fabric of her couch from not moving in 6 years.
It was a sad and gruesome story (the lady died).
But…from a purely copywriting point of view…it was also kind of useful.
If you can imagine the person reading your sales letter as a 500-pound (as master copywriter John Carlton says) “somnambulant sloth”, who's literally oozing all over the sofa and stuck to the cushions, and of whom it takes an enormous amount of effort to move to go to the bathroom during a commercial — much less pick up the phone and order your product — then you will have a huge advantage.
Because you'll be forced to craft an offer and close in your ad that instills not just a sense of urgency…but a tremendous sense of emergency.
In fact, it would take an almost “panicky” rush of fear to get someone like that to put the remote control down and peel himself off the couch to order your product.
And think about this:
If your customers were all 500 pounds and haven't budged from their spot on the couch in several years, what would you say in your copy to get them to put down the remote control, force themselves up from the sofa and rush over to the phone — wheezing, panting and dizzy from the effort — to order your product?
Wouldn't be an easy task, would it?
No doubt it'd take a masterfully written close and offer to get the job done.
And if you can put yourself in this mindset — that the person reading your sales letter is all but incapable of getting off the couch — it will force you to come up with an offer and close much stronger and more powerful than you would otherwise.
Try it tomorrow yourself.
Grab an ad you're running now, then rewrite the close and offer while imagining you're writing to “Jabba The Hutt”. And then see if it doesn't improve your response. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.