One night stands are something we are taught to try our best not to do, or do as rarely as possible, and once we do have casual sexual encounter with someone we know we are not going to date or have a relationship, we are supposed to feel guilty about it.
We have been taught to judge others and were are used to being judged when we engage in “meaningless” sex. Often, we don't even bother to try to explain to others or to ourselves why – why is it so wrong to have one-night stands? Ironically, the most common reason for the lack of that explanation is simply our inability to explain why such sexual encounters are wrong. I believe that it's time to clarify this “rule,” make it much less categorical and alert you to those aspects of one nights stands that have been traditionally overlooked.
First, it's important to distinguish between those situations where people end up in bed together as a result of intoxication and inability to make rational decisions on their own behalf and between those cases where people end up having sex with each other as a result of mutual, overpowering urge to touch each other and be intimate with each other as soon as possible as it often happens to two travelers who meet in a foreign country, staying there for one or two nights, and who decide to make the most out of what they have been granted – that tremendous, instantaneous physical attraction.
While it's hard to justify or benefit from “drunk,” reckless sex that leads to that feeling of guilt and emptiness with which many of those who experienced it are familiar, intimacy which is governed by true, “sober” passion between two, single, consenting adults is a gift – a gift which they both were granted to experience by the most powerful forces of all – the nature and our nature. Do we really have the authority to judge or doubt the magnitude of the most fundamental human instincts – those instincts that almost immediately drive two strangers toward the physical intimacy with each other?
Secondly, who decided that sex must always be part of or be followed by a relationship or any other dating situations. Perhaps some people were destined to experience each other's attention and affection just once and move one with their lives being grateful for the wonderful experience they have had rather than feeling guilty about it.
