While contemplating on the subject of how being assertive in life can destroy the general comity of individuals around you, and that's one among many reasons why modest, and self-effacing people despise the pushy characteristic as the foulest thing to have, I seek to pedal some of my personal concoctions and stock insinuations on that subject by and by.

Let's make this splinter group of assertive individuals – who proudly wear their hard-line behaviour batches on their sleeves without a care in the world – to take a good note of the fact that being modest and unpresumptuous can prove to be a difficult proposition, but if you want to be up top, the bottom should hold you up too and, therefore, humility or being modest (kind, and calm) is the new key to a fruitful, successful life and similarly you can make possible amends in your daily behaviour towards that effect.

You can't fly like an eagle if you hang out with turkeys!”

– Anonymous

Try it and you'll stand to gain a lot by embracing the humility gene as one of the personal value-systems. You can partake of this gene if you want to reach the pinnacle of success you so richly merit. So get off your haughty moral high horse now. Remember, it's your life. It's your only life. You won't get a second chance because there's no such thing. The buck stops with you. Now it's your choice. The ball is in your court.

Let me know, ladies and gentlemen, don't you wonder why the world is going insane with these unabashedly assertive, domineering, intimidating, and controlling figures at the helm of most of our affairs? Don Trump for example?

I know it is all a perspective and perception subject, but I still don't like to see eye to eye with the assertive gene in some people as if there's nothing more valuable in life than being a forceful, commanding twerp. I think, for the good of humanity, it's time to denigrate them to the dimension where they can be allowed to revive, invigorate, and restart their lives. I'd even urge them to think wisely (if that's possible enough for them to do so) to come clean as gentle (and certainly modest) human beings and enjoy real life. Wouldn't that be extraordinary? It would, wouldn't it?

‘Arrogant or ‘Modest': What's Your Poison?

What strikes me as odd these days that assertive people have their hypothalamic, neurological roots steep dipped in some kind of psychopathic speculative chemistry that ill behoves this reactive species to think poorly of others who are not of priggish bearing, whereas modest people, being regularly underappreciated, undervalued, undermined, soft power that they are, continue to stay calm and very down-to-earth polite society sweethearts.

The modest species, therefore, happens to be so warmly pleased with the empathy trait in them that they don't really buy the argument that dreams (pertaining to success and achievement) come true only for those who take pride in their symptomatically destructive “go to” behaviour.

I honestly believe that being assertive incurs emotional, physical, psychological and in most cases financial costs on modest, decent people and why would modest individuals tolerate bad unsympathetic conduct of assertive, arrogant public? Can't they pay them back in their own coin? Can't they retaliate by similar behaviour? Don't kid yourself. Showing high airs once or twice can be considered as OK; showing repeated patterns of assertiveness is not some hunky-dory passion thing, it's a sure sign of a fake feeling of superiority over modest others. A man or woman who scores low on these perspectives is more likely to fail in practicing the basic principles of common courtesies or essential morals. What's more, I don't waver in saying that such people fall in what is now known as Dark Triad, comprising of Narcissists, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy. I am no social scientist but that's just what I believe. Well, we are not perfect. None of us will ever be. Having said that, there are certain fundamental ethics or basic morals that need to always have an upper hand in everything we do in our personal and professional lives. Just these humane things can make us decent men or women or sinister fallen angels destined for damnation.

That may be true, but the biological approach to explaining this is that assertive people always like to subsist on negative traits to prove themselves positive and go-getters – as if their only objective in life is to try and hit the proverbial bull's-eye while also consciously ready to suffer from the ill effects or some likeness thereof of ‘Mission Accomplished' syndrome and trashing other people's (meaning modest people's) sense of quiet accomplishment.

Getting to be the sole winner/champ or be a smash hit among their peers is one of their defective habits that at once demonstrate their mean-spiritedness in whatever they want to lay their hands on. According to these ego-masters' belief system, an assertive lion gets more meat to eat than a docile and modest lion can ever hope to and, therefore, bash on regardless of other people's troubles. Assertive winners say: He who dares wins! To that over-dramatized, hateful, horrendous, bafflingly unpredictable monstrous adage, modest people have a sweet little rebuttal – May the opposite be true!

All of these sardonic weaknesses and shortcomings give way to more upsetting troubles, nuisance-giri, chamcha-giriand a turgid sense of botheration that never lets less assertive people be at peace with themselves. In fact, today's workplaces are more horrible than personal spaces at home. Besides, they like making a lot of noise, often empty ones to make their presence felt among their network of friends, colleagues, and acquaintances or wherever there are humans to thank them for being the masters of the universe! LOL!

No small contention this: I am maybe, mistakenly whatsoever, caricatured as an ‘annoyed' (little angry too) young man. ‘Angry' at assertive people for ignoring humankind's devastation of the mother earth and irate at modest people for their smug feeling of ethical superiority despite choosing to focus on an ethic that preserves what is still good on Earth and doing next to nothing to curtail the onslaughts of ‘unfriendliness' or ‘hostility' going on unattended in our so-called cultured human society.

It is in this spirit I am given to safely generalize things up because, you know, one possibly needs extra brain cells to decode the subject of mankind's unpleasant assertiveness (albeit selfish) gene, which, frankly speaking, I am not about to expend upon any more of my energy than this trivial subject seems to want to devour. So here is another one such affliction that conveys a real sense of the person I am. Being modest or unassuming is my ‘poison' (read nectar) and being assertive isn't my cup of tea. Don't take it to heart, opinions may defer and they have to, don't they?

The Argument Continues…

People who dislike being assertive or are allergic to it are generally modest and gentle by nature. Period. Such virtuously grownups are the Modest people smiling upon the Assertive badasses who clearly are unfortunate to understand their unsung defeats and peaceful ignominy of the lesser mortals, namely the compassionate Modest genus.

It is assumed that Assertive people have the permanent kind of ticket, a sly upper hand, to name and fame game, but at the expense of Mother Nature, our Earth. Ask them how; they probably won't know or are aware of it at all. They care less about such insignificant things. They don't know how spoiled they are by being attached to their sense of entitlement, which they have a strong sense of, no matter what the cost of such an awful liking on their part. They think they are entitled to something of a ‘Starbucks quality' that gets them their usual less-work-more-perks/advantages “toffee nut latte frappuccinos” without much ado, not to speak of their goofy behind-your-back ‘insider-trading' tactics that quite often serve to professionally elevate them to higher managerial ranks, while the modest lots, load up their backs like the Donkeys prone to hand-eating their way to an offensive plate of watery dal poured over stored overnight mound of rice (with notional leftover of sambar, if any) turning nicely in their stomach, get nothing! That's not my opinion or a self-fulfilling prophecy, it is a fact.

However, modest people like to affirm, albeit amiably, and always politely, that assertive people are always thrilled to suffer from the difficulty of being good and their moral inadequacy/deficiency directly serves to kill the peace and tranquility especially in social settings and work or occupational situations they operate in. So, understandably, modest people grate on the nerves of the Assertive individuals, who are automatically derisory of being “so gung ho practical” in life.

How convenient of these assertive manipulative lots for their wanton misunderstandings that they are more ‘practical' than what the modest people are given to profess about! Read ‘practical' as ‘covert aggression,' or as ‘clandestine hostility,' nothing else.

Plus, the Assertive folks (mostly in sheep's clothing) know how to shield their turf, their interests at the expense of others (read modest people, who else?), regularly indulging in their endless deliberate head-butting games. All things considered, it is quite fair to allege that Assertive people rejoice in calling out “Hum Naheen Sudrengeh!” and continue to have their blitzkrieg of heartless insensitive fun.

Being modest is my ‘poison'! And smiling often makes me choose all my battles wisely. Thank you for being modest.

Wrapping Up

I acknowledge that there are billions of “Assertive” and “Modest” people in the world so their thoughts on this matter would be different. Mine is clearly stated here in this article.

Are Assertive people more successful than the non-assertive modest people? The question remains, understandably, unanswered. But to hazard a quick guess: when the push comes to shove, remember that there'll be push-back, and it is a no-brainer that your energies will be wasted in any needless conflicts between the two apparent, shall I say, stalwarts – it's a gambit of individual inclinations, either you become “assertive” or “modest” depends upon so many teeming factors and variables that will decide who you are and what are you going to be ultimately.

That's part of the reason why I've totally abandoned the scary phantoms of my modest dreams and I am glad to report that I did it effectively. Come what may, I remain modest, without distressing myself too much in the face of aggression or whatever that might masquerade to be. For the simple life of me, it pays to be modest and when it is in your nature, things cannot or have no right to turn out badly for you.

Suffice to say – and this is the ultimate truth – that modest people are born favourites, they are loved by all.

Unfortunately, assertive people aren't half as fortunate as their “mentally superior counterparts” (this is totally a contestable and arguable point), for they get branded as social pariahs that even people who are modest accept no excuses at all to categorically reject these pushover personalities who seem to have a mind of their own and don't easily desist from being an insensate. Am I still generalizing? Yes, no, maybe… whatever. But the truth is incontrovertible and has to be bitter in taste as it stings the minds of the assertive people like a thousand jealous needles. The modest people who don't like to get more darn specific about the darn subject of overcoming the darn bullies at work or at school are better off not to give in to any form of aggression. Somebody said that the best way to avenge yourself is to not be like that. So true that.

And would you have come this far reading this article if you could tell the difference between modest and assertive people in the human society we live? I think you wouldn't. Now that you have come this far reading this blog, I know you are better equipped to tell the difference now, with confidence. However, for posterity's sake, I'd say to each his own his morsel of food for thought and “I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.” I leave it at that.

Stay modest in your life and happy dreaming. So long.

Source by Arindam Moulick