As relationships progress we get lazy in the bedroom department. In the beginning we barely made it to the bedroom before passion took over. Nowadays it's all “just wait until this programme has finished” and “can I keep my socks on?”
When I say foreplay begins with your clothes on, I mean begin the chase well away from the bedroom. For example, your wife has made an effort with her hair, you could say something like this, “I love your hair like that, it makes your neck look really kissable.” Or if your husband has new jeans on, say something like “God your bum looks sexy in those jeans” whilst helping yourself to a handful. Foreplay starts in the brain and by complimenting your loved one their brain tells them you are still interested.
Text messages and little love notes also help to build the tension. Slip a note between his sandwiches telling him what you are going to do to him when he gets home and you have certainly planted an erotic seed. Or text her and tell her what you want to do to her when she gets in.
The Art Of Seduction
Imagine the scene in the bedroom…telly on, laundry waiting to be put away, kids coming in and out as they please, bed not made. Now you want us to be in the mood? Create the mood for us. Our imaginations are worn out by the end of the day and we are going to take longer to get going. Just a few simple alterations in the bedroom and you are half way there. Turn off the TV and put on some music, turn off the overhead light and invest in some lamps, tidy up a bit and put a bolt on the door!
Ladies, that grey underwear that used to be white has no place here. If you want your man to be in the mood put sexy lingerie on under your normal clothes, boy will he be surprised. Men, change those boxers! Loose boxer shorts do nothing to emphasise your package, tight fitting boxers are the only way to go. Let her see how pleased you are to see her.
Now begin fully clothed. You will be surprised just how much of a difference this makes. Removing each other's clothes slowly whilst gently kissing the part that has become exposed is a great build up to sex. It's all about the anticipation. Men, you don't have to go straight for the breasts or genitals, women generally really love their necks and ears to be lightly nibbled and kissed as well. Women, pay attention to your man's chest area, some men's nipples are highly sensitive.
Unfortunately, women take a lot longer than men to become aroused enough for sex, so men, bear this in mind. Although you may be raring to go she may still have some way to go before she is on the brink of orgasm.
If your husband is chewing your ear and it's doing nothing for you, tell him, except not in so many words. Say something like “I love it when you kiss my neck…” not “didn't I feed you enough at dinner?” Men are not mind readers, give them a little guidance and you will reap the rewards. During foreplay you are aiming for both of you to be near orgasm, this is the time for penetration.
Another method of increasing pleasure during foreplay is to use tantric massage. This is where the whole naked body is given attention, culminating in a massage of the genitals. It really does increase the intensity of the orgasm.
And So To Bed…
Increasing the amount of time you dedicate to foreplay doesn't mean that the actual act of sex will last longer but it does mean that you will have more fun getting there and more likely to want to repeat the experience in the very near future.