The wings of my thought
are too short to climb God's height
or blue deeps of peace:
I stand on the edge of
earth's physicality
elements clack
in the small house shudder
the harp and strings
I don't know how
the bones grow in the womb
still in darkness
the heartbeats pronounce
the balance of nature
look for body's love–
the mystery song echoes
some truths not spoken
the mind creates
withdrawn to its own pleasures
a green thought
behind the banyan tree
behind the flickering lust
painting the glow
in the green forest
unseen fingers
how to weigh the breath
the flame the soul or the ash
the body conceals:
I can't turn my inside out
nor know life's weight when lifeless
each death a passage
to surprise the dead-
awareness matters
between earth and sky
it disappears, one with
elements, quiet
there's no way to know the thread
or its mechanism that binds
the heart's rhythm:
dust smells beneath the feet
above the head
secures life now or
beyond what if I can't feel
the weight of the color
on the leaves on the tree maybe
shrinking into itself
measure wisdom
to unknow, now lower gaze
and look within
sexless meditate
in the darkest of hours
negotiate peace
with self and rest even if
I exist in my suffering
flickers of peace
hide god in running brook:
love in nudity
I can't awaken
nor can I rise from the ash
to be my real self
I am still lost in meanness
no third eye could locate
moistened eyes
draw me near divine
for a while
unknowable
the soul's pursuit hidden
by its own works:
the spirit's thirst, the strife
the restless silence, too much
my bedroom
dust-covered crucifix
still time
on the prayer mat
the hands raised in vajrasan
couldn't contact God-
the prayer was too long and
the winter night still longer
hidden
in the cave of the heart
little fire
hiding helplessness
in the luxury of prayers
I raise a wall
a babel of deception
through cocktail of drug and desire
who sees the smoke
of the thumb-sized flame
the body burns
I can't know her
from the body, skin or curve:
the perfume cheats
like the sacred hymns chanted
in hope, and there's no answer
rising godward
prayers on the waving
incense stick smoke
plodding away at
season's conspiracies
life has proved untrue
with God an empty word
and prayers helpless cries
play the seasons:
the thirst is ever new
and blissful too
discourse on heaven
and after-life pleasures
is self-bullying
to live without meaning
midst searches for the lost
half-fleshed faces
track from behind the window:
rawness of journey
little candles fail
to illumine the deity
or golden dome
in the valley darkness reigns
and god too awaits light
lying listless
on withered creeper
a golden bird
so inciting
the hell of cyber world
they forget to pray
and multiply their pain
corroding consciousness
wiping his face
under the umbrella
an old man with books
they can't close their eyes
to the images I brew
for burying secrets
against a dusty mirror
against God's hidden errors
in bed the body
its own antidote if itched
for love wasted sex
it doesn't matter-
whining in sleep or whinging
is part of crazy
nature in race with itself
and god a convenience
no prayer helps
trust shrinks life without love
time's running out
the cocktail of drink
drug and meditation-
nightly yelps
tease unshared guilt
the hell of silence
frightened
of my muddy feet
god in temple
unable to see
beyond the nose he says
he meditates
and sees visions of Buddha
weeping for us
hanging
door protector-
Buddha
the whole night they blare
senseless mantras to arouse
gods and keep mortals
from sleep without caring how
they hurt the old, sick and child
restlessness of night
now frightens the morning sun
I can't even breathe
psalms or no psalms
workers of iniquity
shoot their arrows
with praising lips and god
flees to see their shrewd schemes
vultures waiting for
the remains of sacrifice
on the temple tree
the nightly ghosts crowd
my mind's passage to forge
gods' names in disguise
I fail to scan the face
of thought and life in the dark
knocking emptiness
I cross the valleys within
now stand at stone gate
they don't sing praises
with understanding if they knock
the door will open:
love compels descent of divine
in white silence reigns spirit
sunrise
behind the temple
cloud's edge
it's prayer to sink
into her flesh and bury
myself in her breast
to escape the faithless hands
that never became mother
fingers feel
decaying fireflies
in lamplight
stains of dried dewy
tears on the eyelids tell of
the load on her mind:
clothed in spring the willow twigs
reveal the changed relation
perfume of wine-
remembering the bouquet
she gave me once
locked in the shadows
of unrolled curtains her love
in the lone boudoir-
she plays tunes on the violin
flowers fade at the window
awake
alone on the housetop
a sparrow
she senses all things
changing as she passes through
the city again:
should I leave the old house or
lie in the grave before death
prayer book
covering the glass-
his last drink
at the river
she folds her arms and legs
resting her head
upon her knees and sits
as an island
on the river's bank
his soul is lighted for peace-
lantern in the sky
is it her quietus
that she roars in herself
like a sea
waves upon waves
leaps upon herself?
unable to map
on the face where her pain ends
and mine begins
the wind lifts
her curved nudity
in the water curtain
I touch the strings that whisper
love in each falling drop
caressing
her pregnant belly-
water lily
shaped like a bird
a drop of water lands
on her breast:
my breath jumps to kiss it
before her pelvic flick
the morning sun
fondling with tender fingers
the red roses
gods couldn't change the rhythm
of the body and its needs:
erotic scars stick
after three decades love waves
tense the flesh and rock the night
tangle together
flames of a double lamp
on the terrace
before the foamy
water could sting her vulva
a jelly fish passed
through the crotch making her shy-
the sea whispered a new song
a drop embedded
in the half-opened bud-
winter morning
swirling spiral
of her skirt spills tides of dream
and memory:
I breathe fire in the dance
forgetting bends and twists
after the tumble
buried between the sheets
leftover passion
when I wanted to change
seats my friend said she can
only if the door's locked
the light out and her mom
in another city
in naked dress
she plays hide and seek-
sizzling summer
she hears the voice
of unrealized bliss in
the coos of koel
at the window sill this evening
rains love and delight
her fingers push
the roots into the earth-
touch-me-not
when I inhale in
your mouth and exhale stroking
hair or caressing
I ride you into joy and
make you hail morning like earth
on her back
write with hair a light poem-
weight of love
life limits between
whence the sun rises and where
it goes to relax:
joys of fleeting moment
I see Aditi in your eyes
from the peepal
swirling rain drops-
palms open
when I have no home
I seek refuge in the cage
of her heart and close
my eyes to see with her nipples
the tree that cared to save from sun
a sleeping snake
curled between the eggs-
layers of leaves
the smile you weave splits
the sun I lose my direction
in clouds that cover
the banks darkening the white
of the lake moon kissed
the sky
without a shadow
on the earth
in the forest of her hair
my finger searches
the little pearl of blood
that stirs the hidden waters
and contains my restlessness
lying in her nightie
she wipes the stray raindrops
settled on her cheeks
drinking evening star
blue green patterns before eyes
no meditation
no god visits to forgive
the sinning soul in solitude
spread on the white sheet
fragments of my sin deride
tainted threshold
exhausted she sleeps
unaware of my presence
this warm night carefree
I croon my spring song alone
and fill the void with new dreams
musky perfume
open unsleeping eyes-
drowsy sweetness
as I repose in
the wrinkles of her face
I feel her crimson
glow in my eyes her holy
scent inside a sea of peace
in silence
one with the divine will
growing within
love is the efflux
from her body spreading
parabolic hue-
enlightens the self I merge
in her glowing presence
a red globe
rises at dawn:
waving corn
love's spirit descends
and melds into her body
lending it new life:
I'm amazed how the unknown
becomes one with her beauty
sea waves
roll from far away
white peaks
the power goes off
suddenly summer heat chokes
in bed sleepless she turns
undoing a hook or two
of her tight blouse
love tickles
with erect pistil:
hibiscus
on the roof top
she waits for her man with
moon cake and lantern:
a flash of silver showers
on the mist-shrouded figure
love making
he melts into her
time stands still
hearing him talk dung
she doubts his integrity
and curses him for
emitting lava from mouth:
I regret stomach upset
her lonely grief
melts in the candle wax
evening's dark floor
I thought I would make
tea for her but she was sleeping
I didn't wake up
our back faced each other
once again cold birthday
the wax dips
down the long candle-
a soft hum
after a tiff
lying under the same blanket
two of us stare
the peeping moon and turn
with glee to each other
her smile
arrival of spring
at the bower
the flirtation ends
with a tiring sleepless night-
summer solstice
no use telling myself again
things would change this time next year
travelling back
from the waves of bliss
a foam-leap
wrinkles on the skin
remind me of time's passage
year by year travelled
long distances renewing
spirit and waving goodbye
crowded streets
moving among the years
wretched faces
ghosts rise to mate
in moonlight tear the tombs
frighten with fingers
rhino horns rock the centre
granite sensation
between the streetlight
and window pane howling
a wolfish shadow
I fear the demons
rising from my body
at midnight crowding
the mind and leading the soul
to deeper darkness
flowing darkness
consumes shadow of shadows-
midnight sensation
sleep the night with
desires wrapped in blanket-
spring in the eyes
gods couldn't change the rhythm
of the body and its needs
hitching up the skirt
she fills her pockets with
unripe mangoes
dreams puzzling
smallness of waking
I can't live
the child's circumcision
promise of happiness
twilight glimmer
crevices and corners
dawning silence
awake in dream time
I look for the candle-
love's invitation
lighting up in the dark
and sing the body's song
drifting
in the night's silence
moon's shadow
a moment of love
and long silence for years:
from dream to nightmare
again fear grips my soul
I sense her presence around
living again
fountain on the hilltop-
divine light
short nights and long days
sleep loss rustles a friction
echoing in bed
the cycle of cravings
over and over again
hidden between the sheets
my smothered senses-
salted honey
layers of dust thicken
on the mirror water makes
the smuts prominent:
I wipe and wipe and yet
the stains stay like sin
time moves slow
in bed the game of flesh
sweet suavity
I love her undress
the light with eyes that spring
passion with kisses
she leaves her name again
for my breath to pass through
in the bath
bare soul together-
after glow
it's not ageing
but eternal delight
you under me
smooth belly nude necking
slow stroking parting flesh
eternity
too short to quench
love
the beads of sweat
on her breast do not touch
her years or face
in candle light her shadow
is more restrained than my thought
touching her tattoos
in the darkness of mirror
moon from the window
my voice
brown like autumn
crushed in noises I can't
understand days pass in colors
buried
peeling paint
from the drawing room-
shadows flicker
sin-maker or
sin-eater both author
the snake in sea
swimming unending love waves
in colors that cloud the eyes
she undresses in
dim light perfumes her body
fills room with herself
a mist covers
the valley of her body
leaves memories
like the shiver of cherry
in dreamy January
stoops to set
pleats of her saree-
mid August
my hand
held out in the dark
remained empty:
no one reached it to give
the joy of the meeting hands
a crescent
in the western horizon-
missing the moon
a tidal wave
touches the shore to wipe
my naked footprints
and leaves behind some shells
pebbles and memories
spread on white sheet
fragments of my sin deride
tainted threshold
watching the waves
with him she makes an angle
in contemplation:
green weed and white foam break
on the beach with falling mood
her name
written on the sand
a wave breaks
crazy these people
don't know how to go down
with the swirl and up
with the whirl but play
in the raging water
the half moon
on her neck reminds of love
before departure
they couldn't hide the moon
in water or boat but now
fish moonlight from sky:
I watch their wisdom and smile
why I lent my rod and bait
setting sun
leaves behind sparkle
on the waves
a cloud-eagle
curves to the haze
in the west
skimming the sail
on soundless sea
candling in vein
leave marks of teeth on her neck
utter holiness
awaiting the wave
that'll wash away empty hours
and endless longing
in this dead silence at sea
I pull down chunks of sky
night's passage
on the beach with her-
silky sting
heaven is
the frisson of union
with fishwife
behind the boulders
on sea beach
fingers grope
the leaking pulp
moist lips
the chains multiply
wrap life in the skin of water
crying quits to an acomous sky:
the mute soul suffers
the oozing filth
after the party
empty chairs in the lawn-
new moon and I
weaving no web
a dark fishing spider
mates in the creek
and curls up hanging from the twat
in one-shot deal
smell a snake
in the wet grass-
her smile
the lips in her eyes
and long hours in the mouth
no moist secret
between us to reveal:
now our back to each other
float over the hill
the autumn circle of smoke-
her long hair streaming
tears dry up
leaving no marks where her pain
ends and mine begins
on the face makeup damp
with aching sweat and cold sighs
aged sensations
lord over memory:
deeper sorrows
the mirror swallowed
my footprints on the shore
I couldn't blame the waves
the geese kept flying over the head
the shadows kept moving afar
swimming with the wave
stuck in the loop in water
wisps of memory
seeking shelter
under the golden wings
of angel Michael
a prayer away now
whispers the moon in cloud
locked between
my bed and quilt
December chill
the tenuity
of her story like hearing
my own confession
without the priest I wonder
if I know my true voice
